June 28, 2019
Quiet: The Power Of Introverts In A World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain
So I’ve been reading this book and I’m going to read it again.
The last few chapters have me wanting to share some personal things.
The author discusses how an introvert is supposed to survive in this extroverted world. She points out a lot of introverts play extrovert when the occasion calls for it. That’s me, although I’m not very good at “playing”. The author says that some of her friends would put on a show when they needed to. That’s me….but no longer. I’ve decided that it’s too hard to “play” and it’s just easier in being myself and if people don’t like me, then I’ll just spend more time on the people who do.
This book has really resonated with me. It’s a relief to read that other people experience the isolation of being an introvert and misunderstandings around it. I have spent so long trying to fix my “lack of confidence,” not really understanding I was just very introverted and I had other strengths like self-awareness and empathy.
Like, this photo….for instance...of a “baby” frog. This morning as I was walking I saw him. In reading this book, I’ve determined that I am a “highly sensitive introvert”. Little things that don’t bother other people have the power to completely overwhelm me. And what might be a minor irritation for some can easily send me into a panic attack or reduce me to tears. My walk was suddenly different and I was in tears and very emotional just seeing this “baby” frog.
So I’ve been reading this book and I’m going to read it again.
The last few chapters have me wanting to share some personal things.
The author discusses how an introvert is supposed to survive in this extroverted world. She points out a lot of introverts play extrovert when the occasion calls for it. That’s me, although I’m not very good at “playing”. The author says that some of her friends would put on a show when they needed to. That’s me….but no longer. I’ve decided that it’s too hard to “play” and it’s just easier in being myself and if people don’t like me, then I’ll just spend more time on the people who do.
This book has really resonated with me. It’s a relief to read that other people experience the isolation of being an introvert and misunderstandings around it. I have spent so long trying to fix my “lack of confidence,” not really understanding I was just very introverted and I had other strengths like self-awareness and empathy.
Like, this photo….for instance...of a “baby” frog. This morning as I was walking I saw him. In reading this book, I’ve determined that I am a “highly sensitive introvert”. Little things that don’t bother other people have the power to completely overwhelm me. And what might be a minor irritation for some can easily send me into a panic attack or reduce me to tears. My walk was suddenly different and I was in tears and very emotional just seeing this “baby” frog.
I think about things deeply, feel deeply, and care deeply, and as a result, get overwhelmed more easily. I get stressed out by bright lights, bustling activity, and loud noises. Storms..no...I have a tornado shelter for this very reason. I have dreams or nightmares about tornadoes. And school pep assemblies and school dances are brutal. I usually wear ear plugs. When someone raises their voice at me or others and I hear it, it really bothers me - even when babies cry. It just goes right through me and I feel their pain. I need my sleep about 7-8 hours. I’m a morning person. I get up early and go to bed early. I don’t like watching anything violent or with lots of action. My mind is overstimulated and movies like that really bother me. When I read a book, I have to be careful. I have strong reactions, and I can think about something that happened for days or weeks. It plays over and over in my mind. Words….I tend to overanalyze every little word. I’m very detailed in most everything I do. And I’m a people watcher. I notice every little thing. I get easily distracted. I have to sit at the front in church because of this. I want to focus on the preacher and what he says and not the people and what they do. I’m not very social. I like small groups and I mean small. I feel very out of place at times and get overwhelmed in large group settings. I can’t talk in front of a large group of adults. I tend to stutter and it feels like my heart is going to pound out of my chest. I can’t pray in front of other women...and this one I’m really working on. I feel like they are judging me on every word. I can’t easily brush things off...I don’t like to joke around much. I’m pretty straight forward. I don’t like people who are dishonest. Just tell me and we’ll talk it out. We can agree to disagree and grow from our differences. Vacations...sleeping in a different bed or in a different place is anything but fun and relaxing. Sometimes my environment is my enemy. Change is extremely upsetting. My blood sugar can dip and spike when I haven’t eaten on time and I will not be able to focus or concentrate. Time pressure causes me to have serious anxiety. And I’m pretty much a creature of habit. I find comfort in routine. It is far less stimulating than something new. I need more time than others to adjust to changes - even positive ones. I process everything very deeply.
As a lot of you know, KMS (the 3-story building) is being demolished. I’ve posted photos and I’ve been emotional. So today as June is coming to an end, I really don’t know why but I just felt compelled to share that.
In Exodus, God, in the form of a burning bush, appeared to Moses. When Moses asked God for His name, the response was a surprising “I am who I am. This is my name forever.” Exodus 3: 14-15.
As a lot of you know, KMS (the 3-story building) is being demolished. I’ve posted photos and I’ve been emotional. So today as June is coming to an end, I really don’t know why but I just felt compelled to share that.
In Exodus, God, in the form of a burning bush, appeared to Moses. When Moses asked God for His name, the response was a surprising “I am who I am. This is my name forever.” Exodus 3: 14-15.
May 2017
The Johnson's
The Johnson's
August 13, 2017
I have decided to share this because I believe it is God's desire to share our stories, whether we want to or not. I used to keep things to myself but here recently, I have decided to share some things.
I believe that God has a plan for great purpose and a beautiful future for all those who believe in Him. And I want to give God the glory for all that He has done in my life.
Losing someone is hard. Probably one of the hardest things I've ever experienced. On one hand, it's peaceful knowing those loved ones are looking out for me and watching from above. And on the other hand, it's good to believe that God has turned my past into purpose.
I also firmly believe that healing comes through writing. I have been through counseling years ago and I have found that writing helps much more for me.
Usually I write and throw it away, but not today.
Rick and I met in June of 1987. I had just finished my first year of college at Arkansas State University in Jonesboro. My sister, Missy, introduced us. We were "cruising" the streets of Kennett and stopped to talk to one of Missy's friends. And Rick was with Missy's friend. From then on, we were together.
I also firmly believe that healing comes through writing. I have been through counseling years ago and I have found that writing helps much more for me.
Usually I write and throw it away, but not today.
Rick and I met in June of 1987. I had just finished my first year of college at Arkansas State University in Jonesboro. My sister, Missy, introduced us. We were "cruising" the streets of Kennett and stopped to talk to one of Missy's friends. And Rick was with Missy's friend. From then on, we were together.
No matter how long you've been dating or how hard you fall for the person, everything is golden. That is, until it's time to meet his parents.
And yes, I can remember that exact moment that Rick introduced me to his parents.
And yes, I can remember that exact moment that Rick introduced me to his parents.
No one or really anything could really have prepared me when I first met Rick's dad, Richard.
If you knew him or even remember him, you can probably imagine that he played a trick on me. I won't go into details but just know that I was extremely nervous and anxious anyway, and that "three little pig" joke was an icebreaker.
If you knew him or even remember him, you can probably imagine that he played a trick on me. I won't go into details but just know that I was extremely nervous and anxious anyway, and that "three little pig" joke was an icebreaker.
Meeting Rick's mom was also memorable. She was lovable from the beginning. And if you knew Ann, she was humble and gentle and made me feel very welcome in their home.
Rick and I have been together for 30 years now and on January 7, 2018, we will celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary.
Our wedding night was a night to remember as well! It was a blizzard of a night and the preacher was an hour late! My grandparents were late as well because they were stuck in the snow on their way driving from Piggott. And we were not married in a church. We were married in my parents' home. God was present but not as present in our lives as He is now.
Our wedding night was a night to remember as well! It was a blizzard of a night and the preacher was an hour late! My grandparents were late as well because they were stuck in the snow on their way driving from Piggott. And we were not married in a church. We were married in my parents' home. God was present but not as present in our lives as He is now.
I believe the covenant of marriage makes us one flesh. It is what makes a male and a female one emotionally, spiritually, financially, and sexually. Marriage is so much bigger than ourselves. It is God's work in our lives and so....we give God the glory for our marriage.
I also give thanks to my in-laws, Richard and Ann Johnson.
You see, I believe that marriage is a holy covenant before God and meant to be "until death do us part". It is a vow that we made with each other before our parents and before God.
Rick and I long for unity and fulfillment in our marriage. And I am confident that during our time together, God is going to do something great in us and through us.
You see, I believe that marriage is a holy covenant before God and meant to be "until death do us part". It is a vow that we made with each other before our parents and before God.
Rick and I long for unity and fulfillment in our marriage. And I am confident that during our time together, God is going to do something great in us and through us.
Richard and Ann were married August 13, 1957.
Richard has been gone now for 21 years and Ann for 14 years.
It really doesn't seem that long ago.
If I could talk to them again today,
this is what I would say.....
Richard has been gone now for 21 years and Ann for 14 years.
It really doesn't seem that long ago.
If I could talk to them again today,
this is what I would say.....
Dear Ann and Richard,
I am proud to say that your story is a part of mine and that my story is a part of yours. Even though you are Rick's mom and dad, I could not have felt more loved than if I were your actual daughter. From early in our relationship, you made me feel loved and welcome. You are the founder of our family.
I am proud to say that your story is a part of mine and that my story is a part of yours. Even though you are Rick's mom and dad, I could not have felt more loved than if I were your actual daughter. From early in our relationship, you made me feel loved and welcome. You are the founder of our family.
Your spirit will forever dwell in my heart. I appreciate the knowledge you shared with me and the love you showed to me.
I am forever grateful to you for raising the man of my dreams. All the love and discipline you gave him shaped him into the man that he is for me and our family, and I thank you.
I knew that you loved Rick and you allowed me to be the one who loved him too!
It has been a privilege to take his last name and to grow with him for 30 years now. We have learned that our marriage is a journey, a day-by-day, step-by-step process, and hard work. I can not express how much I love your son and the family he has given me and how it was all worth it to build our life together.
You made such an impact, not only in my life, but in the lives of our children, Will and Amy. Rick and I see a lot of you both in them!
I am forever grateful to you for raising the man of my dreams. All the love and discipline you gave him shaped him into the man that he is for me and our family, and I thank you.
I knew that you loved Rick and you allowed me to be the one who loved him too!
It has been a privilege to take his last name and to grow with him for 30 years now. We have learned that our marriage is a journey, a day-by-day, step-by-step process, and hard work. I can not express how much I love your son and the family he has given me and how it was all worth it to build our life together.
You made such an impact, not only in my life, but in the lives of our children, Will and Amy. Rick and I see a lot of you both in them!
This year it seems as though Rick and I have grown closer.
I believe it might be due to the fact that we now have a daughter-in-law. I now know what it is like to love someone like a daughter. Someone who is married to my son, and loves him as much, if not more, than I do. At first, it was a shock when I realized that I am secondary to the woman who gave him life. But it only took a little while to genuinely get to know her and appreciate the kind of woman she is. And I learned it from you both and I thank you.
I believe it might be due to the fact that we now have a daughter-in-law. I now know what it is like to love someone like a daughter. Someone who is married to my son, and loves him as much, if not more, than I do. At first, it was a shock when I realized that I am secondary to the woman who gave him life. But it only took a little while to genuinely get to know her and appreciate the kind of woman she is. And I learned it from you both and I thank you.
Richard, when you left this world, you left so suddenly. We didn't have time to say our goodbyes. I hope you know how much I truly loved you and all the things you did for our family. You gave me strength and courage.
You were in my life for almost 9 years.
Will was 5 years old and Amy was almost 3 when you died. Oh how heartbroken we all were.
I remember Rick coming home from the station and sitting outside on the porch swing. The heartbreak that we both felt is what it feels like when you truly love someone.
You were a wonderful example of a husband, father, father-in-law and granddaddy.
You were always showing kindness to me. My most fondest memory is you spending time with Will, in the living room floor- I remember you made him a notebook with pictures of everything cut from magazines - teaching him words and so many images. I think this is one reason he's so smart! And then when Amy came along, you did the same thing. You spent so much time with them. You would leave work around 1:00 in the afternoon just to make sure you spent time with them each day.
It seemed as though you loved them as if they were your own children.
I believe Rick is a great father because of you. You helped to guide him in fatherhood.
The only thing better than having Rick as my husband is our children having him as their dad.
Will was 5 years old and Amy was almost 3 when you died. Oh how heartbroken we all were.
I remember Rick coming home from the station and sitting outside on the porch swing. The heartbreak that we both felt is what it feels like when you truly love someone.
You were a wonderful example of a husband, father, father-in-law and granddaddy.
You were always showing kindness to me. My most fondest memory is you spending time with Will, in the living room floor- I remember you made him a notebook with pictures of everything cut from magazines - teaching him words and so many images. I think this is one reason he's so smart! And then when Amy came along, you did the same thing. You spent so much time with them. You would leave work around 1:00 in the afternoon just to make sure you spent time with them each day.
It seemed as though you loved them as if they were your own children.
I believe Rick is a great father because of you. You helped to guide him in fatherhood.
The only thing better than having Rick as my husband is our children having him as their dad.
Ann, when you left this world, we had the opportunity to have many long talks. We didn't want to say goodbye and I will never forget the promise I made to you.
I promised to do my best in all that I set out to do and to always be there for Rick, Will and Amy and to go to the doctor every year - no matter what!
I hope you know how much I truly loved you. I appreciated you. It is true that you were my mother-in-law, but for me, you were so much more than that. I was so fortunate that you were Rick's mother and also my very best friend.
You also gave me strength and courage and hope.
You always told me you had hope. Even when the doctor said that you only had months to live, you hoped that you'd be able to see Will and Amy graduate or get married, or see your great-grandchildren.
You absolutely loved your children. You loved our children. You spoiled them but helped to teach them values that matter.
I remember our long conversations like they were yesterday. You come to me in my dreams so often as if you were still here with me.
I remember our long conversations like they were yesterday. You come to me in my dreams so often as if you were still here with me.
I remember how when Rick and I first got married, he worked on Sundays and I went to church with Will and Amy. Soon, you changed Rick's schedule and you worked on Sunday's instead so he could go to church with us. Then later, you started joining us at church.
God is ever present in our lives. I thank you and I thank Him.
God is ever present in our lives. I thank you and I thank Him.
I hope that in the years to come that I will continue to try as hard as I can to live in your footsteps and make sure that people know how giving you both were.
I plan to continue doing whatever it takes to make sure that you are proud of me and our family.
What I accomplish will be partly because of your giving nature and guidance that you gave me while you were still here and the other part - because of God and His love, mercy, grace, and hope!
Whatever I do, I will do it for the glory of God.
I plan to continue doing whatever it takes to make sure that you are proud of me and our family.
What I accomplish will be partly because of your giving nature and guidance that you gave me while you were still here and the other part - because of God and His love, mercy, grace, and hope!
Whatever I do, I will do it for the glory of God.
I miss you both so very much and I always will.
I leave this letter with hope - The blessed hope that we will see each other again and we will see Jesus. (Titus 2:13)
I leave this letter with hope - The blessed hope that we will see each other again and we will see Jesus. (Titus 2:13)
SLIDE SHOW of Ann and Richard
In Remembrance....gone but never ever forgotten